rain for a soundtrack. cold seeps in through windows unsheltered (to capture as much light as the grey will allow). i put on my wool slippers and boil water for tea.
it’s been a quiet couple weeks since my dream of a farm (and being my own boss) died. the farm partnership failed before the seedlings could reach light. in the emptiness of mourning and doubt, i have accomplished little. sleep trouble. anger. lethargy. tears.
i know it will pass. don’t need anyone to tell me that.
the hard part is seeing the light. relating to the ideas of confidence, purpose, drive. i just don’t relate right now. my momentum was blind-sided. my hope was snuffed. my purpose kicked in the gut.